Trent A. Tyer

We may smile and congratulate one another on a job well done. We may also join the parade of compliments after a fellow-worker accomplishes something notable or receives attention. Yet, we may experience a stream of thoughts that sound a little something like this:

“Is anyone else thinking that I would be good at this?”

“Is someone else considering that it should have been me instead?”

“Look how happy so-and-so is with themselves. They look so satisfied and content.”

“When it is my turn, they will know.”

“Me? Jealous? …Nooo,”my mind questions whenever someone brings up the word jealousy. “I would never consider myself to be jealous of anyone”, I reason. In times when we are experiencing person success, being envious of another person sounds silly. But in a moment of insecurity, it is not a joke. 

I felt the nudge to write on this topic after hearing a message where the preacher challenged the listener to read and carefully consider the attributes of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Patience, kindness, not seeking its own—these are all characteristics that come to mind when I think of the passage.

The third characteristic of love mentioned is refraining from jealousy as it is mentioned in the negative: “…love…does not envy” (1 Corinthians 13:4). 

1Co 13:4 ESV 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

Peer jealousy is a trait that will drive someone to the point of murder. Just a quick refresher on the story of Cain and Able will tell you that. I want to briefly address jealousy from a specific angle that we do not often think about. 

As I looked into the biblical meaning of the word, “envy”, something stood out to me. Envy (zeleo in Greek), does mean to be jealous, but it also means to imitate emulously. It is an earnest striving by one’s effort. While we are zealous for repentance, spiritual giftings, and good works, I believe a word of caution is in order concerning zeal. If we are not careful, zeal that is channeled incorrectly can lead to or be caused by jealousy. Here is an example, while we strive to live like Jesus, we should not covet to take his place in our lives. Anyone who does becomes the Lord over his or her own life. This may sound outlandish, but it is true. 

Any Christian in his or her right mind would confess that Jesus is and should properly be Lord over his or her life. It seems silly to think that we can become jealous of God’s authority. Yet, this was part of Satan’s problem. 

Is this not what we would find in the garden as Satan challenges the faith and obedience of vulnerable Eve? Satan says to her—and I paraphrase—God knows that when you eat the forbidden fruit, you will be as gods knowing good and evil. In other words, you are being held back from your rightful place as possessing the characteristics of deity. Suddenly, her perspective towards the fruit was drastically altered. 

Was there perhaps some jealousy and distrust provoked? I would advocate so. It is perilous to engage in competition with God for the right of lordship. We know that our flesh instigates this battle daily.

I want to address one more thing, and some may identify with this battle significantly more than others.

Something struck me recently that I had not considered before. Some of us may deal with an unhealthy zeal towards those we look up to. Allow me to explain.

Desiring to be like one’s mentor is a trait in every good disciple. However, there can be a downside.

Coveting someone’s position or abilities can be extremely toxic. To sit and glare at a conference preacher (salivating at the thought of having the same opportunity) is not God’s desire for us.

I want to be sure that my desire to emulate someone’s lifestyle is not rooted in coveting what he or she has. 

Here are thoughts that reveal jealousy:

“I wish it was me…not them.”

“I wish someone could recognize…”

To imagine ourselves in another’s shoes for our own glory’s sake is certainly not a thought to bond ourselves to. 

While having the heart to help others is noble, the jealousy of the “when will be my turn?” attitude will be our ruin. 

Why? Because, it’s all about ME, MYSELF, and I. For Satan, it was all about HIM, HIMSELF, and HIS…SELF. Do you see the similarity? 

The commandment is this: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife…house…anything that is your neighbor’s.” That includes all that God has given those who may appear more talented or better equipped than ourselves. 

Exo 20:17 ESV 17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Love does not take the “when will it be my turn?” attitude. Nor does it take the attitude: “I deserve…” It seeks not its own. When others are in the perceived “limelight”, love isn’t sitting there thinking about itself and how much different or better things would be if it were them. Love is others-oriented. 

Say it with me:

“L-O-V-E is not about ME.” 

I see jealousy as one of the first detours on the highway of “insecurity”. Jealousy is a telling sign of insecurity. When one is jealous, he or she is grossly insecure in his or her relationship with self and others. Most of all, this individual insecure in their relationship with God. 

The flesh is insistent on harboring ill will. Jealousy is named as a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). An insecure man like Saul couldn’t help but cave to jealousy in the face of David’s destiny. 

Gal 5:20 ESV 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, division…

In conclusion, here is a great question to ask ourselves today—can we appreciate the calling and promise of God on someone else’s life? Let us see where we stand.

If the Lord should reveal to us that we have jealousy in our hearts, we should immediately allow Him to deal with the root of it. The issue is not the other person. The issue is not God withholding something good from us (Satan’s lie). The issue is our own frustration, distrust, and discontentment with what we have been given.

Chances are, if we are bound up in jealousy, we have overlooked and neglected the rich blessing that God has for us.